Packing.. .. Cleaning.. .. Quiet.. ..

Today, I got pretty much all of his stuff packed. My mom helped so we could get it all done and over with. Right now taking a little break my mom is vacuuming which is very nice. At this moment I don't really care but I know she wants to keep busy and help me get myself organized.


Break .. .. 
work.. .. 


And.. .. 
Ok done vacuuming. Bed has all new sheets and some new pillow. A few of his boxes just need to be taped up and some need the random stuff thats left. Put the phone he has of mine on hold so he can't use it.


 Its, strange, extra quiet. I know he's been gone a few days now but, it's starting to hit. that lonely empty feeling again. There should be the sound of an xbox going. Of laughing, swearing, talking. The sound of a movie going. Even the cat is quiet today. It's creepy. For about three years now that has been the sounds of my life. What I came home to after work, what the weekends were filled with. Now, just nothing. Emptiness, loneliness, Absolute quiet. It's strange how much someone can effect you, how those little matter so much. For example, I will never feel his touch again, never get another hug or feel his lips on mine. Never see him laugh at me on one of my blonde moments. Happened quite a bit. Never see him smile at me. Never get another kiss goodnight. I won't find his things randomly around. I'll even miss his messes and workout stuff. 


I had finally realized that he healed my heart from previous breaking, That he was my life. And that I could truely, honestly say that my heart in all its whole was his. Now this, .. .. this.. .. Nothing. Maybe That ruined it. Because I has told him that I had realized he was the only one who could make me cry. Sounds like a weird thing to be happy of, but over my life I have realized that only those I loved with my whole heart and soul can make me cry. And by telling him it ruined everything we had. I ruined what was once great, turned it into something ugly and hate filled. I can honestly say I still love him with all my heart but I know nothing can ever fix this. I will always love you TS. I wish you all the happiness I can. Hopefully one day you can figure things out and be where you wish to be. 


Goodnight World and readers of this tale.