Just a Waiting Game.

Finished a bit of the drama-fest today. It was good to get it over, I've been so nervous over it. Not something I ever want to go through again, EVER. Not going into more detail sorry. 


Got home and my brother went out. It was just myself and my dad, it doesn't happen that often. My mom was at work. You see I love my family, I love my Mom, my Brother and my Dad. But I was an, I guess you could say unruly Teen, did a lot of rebelling which caused many fights. Especially with my Dad, I get most of my stubbornness from him. Over the years though I understand him better. I get why he is the way he is. We can talk, a little. Not a serious heart to heart mind you but we share our interests. Today I had a good time, he bbq'd me some sausages for lunch, I showed him some of the things that interest me like some youtube videos (a day made of glass, The Makerbot, and the Hp touchpad). It was nice, later today he actually went to visit someone he works with to show them the day of glass video. Which means a lot to me. It was a good day. I needed that, with having to run that errand this morning I really expected for a crappy day filled of drama and just unpleasant.


Still really stressed because of the drama with me and my Ex. But slowly getting it out. Just have to try and be patient for this stupid call. I know there's a lot going on, but it really does feel as if no one on his side is considering my feelings, my schedule, just me at all. I didn't cause this and if I had a choice this would not be going on at all. I didn't. I got some nice words today too. Supposedly I am too nice and too patient. I guess reading this is a hard way to tell if I am or not. But I thought those qualities were good? Though anything can be bad in great abundance I suppose. 


I still have this feeling deep, down inside me that I deserve this. This torment and pain. I am a firm believer in Karma, so if this is happening and seem to be some sort of life story for me. Than what did I do that was so horrible to deserve this? How can I change that? How can I make sure I have that balance of doing good, and having good in my life? Great questions of life that no one can really answer. I can't shake this feeling though, I know I treated him like gold, I really did. He wanted beer, he got beer. He wanted an Xbox game, he got an Xbox game. He wanted to go out, he went out. I did so much, yet this is what I get in return. How is that fair in any way, shape or form.


Ugh. Still have a lot of things to figure out. But on a bit of a lighter note Here's some pictures of my kitten that made me smile yesterday.

sleepy...

And the stretching begins.

OMFG!! is that the Shaytards. :)

Good Night world and all those in it.