2012 so far...

This year I decided that I would finally no matter what make it a better year. So far it is for the most part, got my art started and the more I make the better I feel. Going to be starting to sell my stuff soon too, which makes me very better about myself than I have in a long time.

On top of my art I am going to start working towards exercising everyday, starting twice a week. I'm also eating healthier, I should have started doing this a long time ago, but I admit that I have gotten lazy. No more though I have to stick to it continue to work towards my goal. And now unlike so many times before I have the support I need.

My last major goal for this year is to quit smoking, yes I know, it's a horrible habit. Which is why I want to and know I should quit. I'm smoking less and forcing myself to go longer and longer without having one. That way by the end of the winter/early spring I'll be smoke free.

I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about the past year, and all that will be going on this year. It has me kind of scared to tell you the truth but at the same time so excited. By the end of the year, I would have been selling my art, new job, a new place, bills paid off and get to see my man more. We will get to have more of a non-complicated relationship, which I'm so very excited for. I can't wait to be spending nights with him, watching movies together, attempting my hand at making him diner and going out to do things.

This year is starting off a bit slow getting all this started, but I have no doubt in my mind it will happen. He gives me hope for everything. Soo excited!!

Changes

Sometimes in life, you need to make a change not just wait for it to happen. Over this past year I've grown more than I realized til now. Strange how looking back on previous can show you a kind of enlightenment you didn't quite see before. I've always sat back waiting for someone to help me make the changes I needed, but you have to do that for yourself. I want to be a better person, I want to prove my worth to myself. Strange how we never realize things til the last moment. Luckily for me I am starting to see those things, see how I want to grow. I've heard the advice "if you want to change, just do it" but it never really sunk in til now.

I met this man who changed me without even realizing he was doing it. He brought me hope with just a word, I started changing this year for the worst. And now I'm ending the year feeling at one of my best moments. He started the change in me I truly needed. Now, it's my turn to continue changing, growing, finding my way. I finally found that person who helps without knowing it, who makes me really feel. Feel everything, not numb or oblivious.

Everyone needs something or someone to help them start their change, their growth, but you, yourself have to continue it. If not you'll end up back at square one. Not getting to your potential.

This year for 2012, I will reach my goals. That is my resolution, just to be me. Do the things I want to do, with the people who matter to me. This is my year.

Ily M.

Have a good new year everyone. All the best in 2012 and may you find all u want in the year to come.